Last night I was having a couple drinks with good friends, listening to some good ol’ fashioned bluegrass music under an outdoor pavilion. We started talking about my birthday coming up and about my high school reunion just a couple months away. My mom, sitting next to me, piped up about turning 50 next week and looking across the table at my 5 month old god-son I was struck by the speed with which life passes us by.
Ten years since I’ve graduated? My tiny, excitable, little mother is fifty? My birthday is in three weeks? My baby godson is five months old? Holy. Crap. I started thinking about that Brad Paisley song, Letter To Me… and what advice I might give myself if I could write a letter to me, and send it back in time to myself at eighteen. Although life passes us by at break-neck speed, I believe that I’ve found a few little gems worthy of passing on to myself.
I think the letter would go something like this:
Holly Renee,
Believe it or not, this letter is from you - from the future. Ten years to be exact.
Yes, I am composing it on my Dell Latitude D620 laptop and chugging down coffee like it’s my job. I know you’re probably calling bullshit right now, so let me start by saying - that “life plan” you made, complete with timeline and sketches of your future husband and children, in your secret blue journal you keep hidden under the lining of your underwear drawer: forget about it. You’re way off.
I don’t want to tell you anything that will cause you to make different decisions… because despite all the mistakes, you turn out pretty decent. Here’s what I know:
About friends – Always remember quality over quantity. The best friends are those who know everything about you and love you anyway. You will have over three hundred facebook friends (that will mean something to you later), but the ones that really matter are the ones who are there to hug you when you’re sad, toast you when you’re happy, and hold your hair when you puke. Surprisingly, your mom and dad will be a couple of your dearest, closest, and most fun friends. Seriously… don’t roll your eyes.
About careers – Stop stressing about college so much. It doesn’t matter what college you go to. It doesn’t matter what you major in. It doesn’t matter what it says on your college diploma, as long as you have one. Don’t get me wrong, college is really important. You will learn all about 18th century British literature, the art of poetry, great philosophical thinkers, and yourself. It will open lots of doors for you and believe it or not, you’ll end up working in advertising. You will have a high stress, high reward job. You’ll love it and you’ll meet the most amazing friends there. But in the end, your career won’t define you. Your career isn’t your life. Don’t ever let people try to convince you that it is.
About family – There’s no time like the present. Cherish every moment you have with every person you love. They won’t be around forever. Start working on Dad now about the steak, chicken wings, and smoking… his heart will send him a message later to back you up. Let your little sister hang out with you. It’s not that big of a deal, and you’ll appreciate the times you had together. Come summer, 2005 those times will become few and far between.
About love – You should just go ahead and accept the fact now: the only man who will never let you down is your Daddy. The words, “I love you” mean different things to different people. Apparently to some people it means, “I will tear your heart out, stomp on it until it quits beating, and then feed it to my dog”. But don’t worry about that… you become pretty good at getting over heartache. You are hard headed and it will take a significant amount of pain before you realize what you’re worth and find someone deserving of your heart. These moments of hurt, however, are what helps form you who you are. The whole “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing is definitely a theme in your life so far… but the moments of hurt are far surpassed by the happiness that finding the right person brings. Hint: find the person who is your perfect counterpart, the balance that brings is what makes it work.
About life – They lied. These aren’t the best years of your life… you have some amazing ones up ahead. Be slow to judge and quick to forgive… always remember that you aren’t perfect either. Take time to look at the sky, to wish on stars, and to talk to God. Material things don’t mean much, but drive a car you like. It will make all the difference in your commute. Listen when people talk, don’t just hear them – and try your best to remember people’s names. Red wine is best when shared with friends, margaritas are best when paired with cheese dip, and rum is best when lying by a pool. When not having any of those, drink water. Keep playing soccer. Sometimes, eat desert first. Listen to music. Lie in the sun (and wear sunscreen). Think about your future, but don’t obsess over it... it will all work out. I promise.
Love,
Me
PS – Continue to defend your Cardinals. They'll be back. As a matter of fact, bet on them to win the World Series in 2006.
Ten years since I’ve graduated? My tiny, excitable, little mother is fifty? My birthday is in three weeks? My baby godson is five months old? Holy. Crap. I started thinking about that Brad Paisley song, Letter To Me… and what advice I might give myself if I could write a letter to me, and send it back in time to myself at eighteen. Although life passes us by at break-neck speed, I believe that I’ve found a few little gems worthy of passing on to myself.
I think the letter would go something like this:
Holly Renee,
Believe it or not, this letter is from you - from the future. Ten years to be exact.
Yes, I am composing it on my Dell Latitude D620 laptop and chugging down coffee like it’s my job. I know you’re probably calling bullshit right now, so let me start by saying - that “life plan” you made, complete with timeline and sketches of your future husband and children, in your secret blue journal you keep hidden under the lining of your underwear drawer: forget about it. You’re way off.
I don’t want to tell you anything that will cause you to make different decisions… because despite all the mistakes, you turn out pretty decent. Here’s what I know:
About friends – Always remember quality over quantity. The best friends are those who know everything about you and love you anyway. You will have over three hundred facebook friends (that will mean something to you later), but the ones that really matter are the ones who are there to hug you when you’re sad, toast you when you’re happy, and hold your hair when you puke. Surprisingly, your mom and dad will be a couple of your dearest, closest, and most fun friends. Seriously… don’t roll your eyes.
About careers – Stop stressing about college so much. It doesn’t matter what college you go to. It doesn’t matter what you major in. It doesn’t matter what it says on your college diploma, as long as you have one. Don’t get me wrong, college is really important. You will learn all about 18th century British literature, the art of poetry, great philosophical thinkers, and yourself. It will open lots of doors for you and believe it or not, you’ll end up working in advertising. You will have a high stress, high reward job. You’ll love it and you’ll meet the most amazing friends there. But in the end, your career won’t define you. Your career isn’t your life. Don’t ever let people try to convince you that it is.
About family – There’s no time like the present. Cherish every moment you have with every person you love. They won’t be around forever. Start working on Dad now about the steak, chicken wings, and smoking… his heart will send him a message later to back you up. Let your little sister hang out with you. It’s not that big of a deal, and you’ll appreciate the times you had together. Come summer, 2005 those times will become few and far between.
About love – You should just go ahead and accept the fact now: the only man who will never let you down is your Daddy. The words, “I love you” mean different things to different people. Apparently to some people it means, “I will tear your heart out, stomp on it until it quits beating, and then feed it to my dog”. But don’t worry about that… you become pretty good at getting over heartache. You are hard headed and it will take a significant amount of pain before you realize what you’re worth and find someone deserving of your heart. These moments of hurt, however, are what helps form you who you are. The whole “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing is definitely a theme in your life so far… but the moments of hurt are far surpassed by the happiness that finding the right person brings. Hint: find the person who is your perfect counterpart, the balance that brings is what makes it work.
About life – They lied. These aren’t the best years of your life… you have some amazing ones up ahead. Be slow to judge and quick to forgive… always remember that you aren’t perfect either. Take time to look at the sky, to wish on stars, and to talk to God. Material things don’t mean much, but drive a car you like. It will make all the difference in your commute. Listen when people talk, don’t just hear them – and try your best to remember people’s names. Red wine is best when shared with friends, margaritas are best when paired with cheese dip, and rum is best when lying by a pool. When not having any of those, drink water. Keep playing soccer. Sometimes, eat desert first. Listen to music. Lie in the sun (and wear sunscreen). Think about your future, but don’t obsess over it... it will all work out. I promise.
Love,
Me
PS – Continue to defend your Cardinals. They'll be back. As a matter of fact, bet on them to win the World Series in 2006.
Oh, sister. This made me cry... shock there, huh?
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that I love you, have always loved you, and will continue to love you no matter what else life throws your way and no matter how far away I am. I will ALWAYS be right there. You are a strong, amazing woman... and always my #1 BFF/MOH/LP.
Keep your head up, keep looking forward. Love you.
MM(F) -
ReplyDeleteI love you too!
Remember this, you are wise and gifted with so many friends that love you for who you are deep inside, not what you are or have even accomplished. Know those you have not spoke with in many years still hold the feelings a true friend holds and that is a gift you will have for the rest of your life,we will be there to help you through thick and thin to help you choose the paths to come. Your true friends are always just a phone call,text or even e-mail away at any given time of the day.
ReplyDelete